8 Lessons on Workplace Violence and Harassment

Workplace Violence and harassment are phenomena that, although not new, continue to manifest in increasingly complex forms, especially during periods of societal or organizational instability. Whether overt or subtle, their impact is deep and corrosive for individuals and organizations alike. As an organizational coach, I have often found myself in environments where abuse – whether visible or silent – was present. The lessons that follow are not theoretical. They are grounded in lived experiences, questions, mistakes, and gradual realizations that have led me to a deeper understanding of violence dynamics and the healing power of human support.

We often talk about “violence and harassment prevention” through training programs, policies, and codes of conduct. All of these are important, but they are not sufficient. Real prevention happens in the moment of the first incident—when someone reacts, when someone stands up, when someone says: “No, this is not acceptable here.” The biology of our brain (Porges, 2011) shows that in the moment of threat, the nervous system enters a state of alarm. In that moment, what is needed is human connection – someone who is “there,” regulated, supportive. If this first opportunity is lost, the consequences deepen.

Even the best anti-violence policies, if not implemented at the right moment, do not prevent the effects. This lesson taught me to identify “critical intervention points” in the everyday life of teams. I now train leaders to recognize micro-signals of violence, interruptions in the flow of communication, changes in body language. Trauma takes root in the details – and it is also in the details where change is born.

The overwhelming emotion in the face of violence and harassment becomes memory, and memory then functions as trauma – unless we intervene at the moment it happens.

EUANTHIA KOURTOUBUYANNI

Violence and harassment are no exceptions – they are our initial, unconscious responses to threat. According to Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), the brain first detects danger, and only if it feels safe can it engage in social behavior. Thus, in a work environment marked by pressure, insecurity, or ambiguity, people are more likely to resort to aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior patterns. This means that unless a culture of safety and inclusion is consciously cultivated, violence will naturally emerge.

This phenomenon led me to focus not only on addressing but also on anticipating violence, viewing it as a symptom of our collective neurological dysregulation. A culture that remains neutral toward violence ends up nourishing it. Only when zero tolerance is paired with mechanisms for emotional discharge, support, and everyday presence can this tendency truly be transformed.

As Judith Herman (1992) notes, trauma is not only about what happened to us, but more so about the fact that we were alone when it happened. The absence of support at the moment of fear, shame, or disgust is the core mechanism through which an experience becomes traumatic. However, when a regulating or balancing intervention occurs – when someone sees us, believes us, and stands with us in that moment – the experience can be processed and integrated, rather than becoming a fixed trauma.

The concept of learned helplessness (Seligman, 1975) also explains how the inability to intervene reinforces the feeling that nothing can be changed. This is exacerbated by organizational silence – the silence that arises when people believe that speaking up will make no difference. Organizations that aim to heal trauma must strengthen the sense of agency – to demonstrate that a voice has impact.

Sometimes the presence of just one ally is all a mentally healthy employee needs to remain safe and functional.

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The observer’s tendency to focus on the “wrongdoing” and to morally denounce it – without offering meaningful support or changing the context – is common but ineffective. This form of moral individualism is often more about the observer’s need to affirm their own righteousness than about genuine care for the victim. Instead of empathy, judgment is enacted. Instead of restoration, shame is deepened.

In groups where self-righteousness is prevalent, polarization increases. People are not seeking resolution but validation of their own stance. In my interventions, I help members cultivate dialectical empathy – the ability to see both the mistake and the human being, the symptom and the underlying need, at the same time.

Let us not treat incidents of violence and harassment as witnesses merely to affirm our superior moral performance. Moral integrity requires presence and action – grounded in time and in place.

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On a theoretical level, the principles of political correctness can offer a framework of awareness and respect. However, when an act of violence or harassment actually occurs, those present do not act from abstract principles – they act from emotions, fears, and internal patterns. What is needed are practical tools: training in emotional regulation and mediation skills.

Political correctness provides valuable insight into recognizing systemic injustices, but it is not sufficient on its own for immediate intervention. I often encounter organizations that have all the “right” texts and public statements, yet possess little awareness of the bodily, emotional, and verbal language of violence and harassment. What’s needed is a transition from theory to embodied practice.

Political correctness is not an intervention strategy.

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Empathy does not mean “I speak on your behalf,” but rather, “I stand beside you so you can find your own voice.” The greatest support we can offer a victim is to help them trust their own judgment and experience, to find the words to express themselves, and to seek the support they need. When a victim no longer needs to explain why they are in pain – when their experience is acknowledged – they can begin to stand and assert themselves with courage.

This is where I often encounter the dilemma: should I “protect” or “support”? Protection, if not asked for, may reproduce passivity. Support, on the other hand, involves risk, uncertainty, and above all, faith in the other. This trust is the most healing message: “I see that you are capable of handling this.”

Even a conscious and intentional perpetrator becomes discouraged when they realize they cannot control the victim they’ve targeted.

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Leaders often believe that by giving space to talented team members, they are promoting autonomy and creativity. However, this can be perceived as abandonment, and the “empty” space they leave behind may become a battlefield for power struggles. Systems theory (Bowen, 1978) shows that the presence or absence of a leader directly affects the regulation of the entire group.

My role here is to train leaders to discern when their withdrawal is an act of generosity and when it is an expression of fear. I help them re-enter the system in a way that does not control, but contains – that does not dominate, but empowers. Leadership is a regulating force – whether it recognizes it or not.

The space we refuse to occupy, even when it is rightfully ours, ceases to belong to us.

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Today, we live in a context of increased psychological strain, which results in reduced mental reserves for coexisting with what is different. Instead of cultivating resilience and curiosity toward the “other,” we often pathologize it: “they have issues,” “they’re toxic,” “they’re a narcissist” – simply because they disagree with us or deviate from the norm.

This attitude is not an act of care; it is a new form of exclusion. Present-day organizations need psychoeducational programs that train people not just to function, but to truly meet one another – authentically, without defenses. In a world where diversity has become a battlefield, empathy and psychological maturity are revolutionary stances.

The paradox of our times is this: we demand inclusion, while disagreement is met with stigma and character assassination.

EUANTHIA KOURTBOUYANNI

I may not be able to change entire systems on my own as an organizational coach. But I can contribute to the growth of people who will stand with courage, empathy, and awareness in the face of violence and harassment. These insights were born through my work – through the stories of people who found the strength to speak up and through teams that discovered how to transform trauma into connection.

If trauma is born in silence, healing is born in relationship. If violence feeds on fear, change is nourished by presence. And in that, there is hope.

Violence and harassment are not only structural problems – they are relational and emotional realities that require embodied, compassionate responses. If we want to build workplaces where people can truly thrive, we must stop treating abuse as an anomaly and start seeing it as an urgent call for deeper connection, for braver leadership, and for collective healing and restoration.

• Bowen, M. (1978). Family Therapy in Clinical Practice. New York: Jason Aronson.
• Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. New York: Basic Books.
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
• Seligman, M. E. P. (1975). Helplessness: On Depression, Development, and Death. San Francisco: W.H. Freeman.